I got 9.5 Theses but a Sith ain’t one…

Those of you who have been reading my blog (or Matt’s) for awhile know that we’ve been training to be Jedi.  Don’t believe me? Check it out. Our foray into Jediism began after we learned of a discrimination lawsuit in the UK filed by a Jedi who was forced (hah) to remove his hood upon entering a grocery store.

Long story short, it sounded like fun.

Even longer story short,  it wasn’t.

Instead of enlightenment and cool mind tricks, we filled 21 days in the graduate assistant office with ridiculous tasks, innumerable to-do lists,  and other, generally impotent, endeavors.  When our poorly edited training journal informed us for the second time that we would be making lists, Matt and I decided we’d had enough.  Upon discovering that we would have to pay money to continue our training, we did what any good religious studies students would do: we decided it was time for a reformation

These are our 9.5 Theses:

1. Do or do not. There is no “make it your goal.”
2. Desire leads to suffering; suffering leads to the dark side.
3. Feel the Force; follow the Way.
4. There is no prophet greater than Luke Skywalker, the last great prophet of the Force.
5. The Jedi-hood of all believers: Every true Jedi, whether living or dead, has part in all the blessings of the Jedi Way and its Church; and this is granted to him or her by the Force, even without the purchase of training manuals.
6. The rigors of Jedi training must be conducted with caution, lest the people may falsely think them preferable to other good works of true selflessness.
7. Because one’s connection with the Force grows by works of the Force, and the Jedi becomes better; but by to-do lists the Jedi does not grow better, only more free from tasks.
8. The trappings of the Jedi are not the cloak, the hood, or the lightsaber, but the acts of goodness flowing from the Force.
9. The Force is the source of all things, does not belong to the Jedi, and is available to all through selfless acts, dedication to others, and meditation.

9.5. The Jedi must be more committed to the Force than to any document, even this one.

We, the reformers of the Church of the Jedi, believe in the Jedi-hood of all, regardless of whether or not you’ve purchased a Force FX lightsaber.  We believe that mindless tasks and to-do lists are not the way of the Jedi.  Proofreading, however, definitely is.

Lest you doubt our commitment to this reformation, here’s proof (click the photo for bigger images):

Hanging the 9.5 Theses over our training updates.

Luther helped us hang them.

Prominently displayed.

Tearing down our training updates.
(Thank you to Sarah for taking this one!)

So, there you go.

As for my future with Jediism, meh.  I’m over it. Let me know if you find any new religious movements you want to reform!   I wouldn’t mind making this a hobby.

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				Lindsey hanging the 9.5 Theses over our training updates.
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				Luther helped her hang them.
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Holy Water Dispenser, Batman!

This post goes out to my dad, who is hopefully feeling better and hasn’t developed a snout yet.  Sorry your kids have such a wry sense of humor, we learned from the best.  Also, thanks to Tim for sending me the link.  The internet wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining without you!

I love watching how churches and religions adapt to the changing world.

In response to the H1N1 pandemic, some Italian Catholic churches are putting in automatic holy water dispensers. It works just like an automatic soap dispenser, you put your hands under it and the device squirts out holy water. This prevents the font from turning in to a petri dish of sorts, and for a germ-a-phobe like me who has problems taking a piece of bread off the common loaf during cold/flu season, this is awesome!.

But I’m curious to know what you think, is something being lost in this adaptation of the profane for the sacred? (Which is just my fancy way of saying: is this weird?)

(Photo by Reuters)

Existentialism for Dummies…er…Lindsey

I’ve been so frustrated by words lately.

(“Ironic”, she mutters under her breath while continuing to blog)

I constantly fight the feeling of “dumbness” (both intellectually and verbally speaking) in my graduate classes because I feel like don’t engage the material the same way everyone else does.  I lack the words to communicate an idea or a disagreement, the words to challenge a well-spoken, well-read classmate.

I’m beginning to realize always I’ve been much more experiential than rational (though both my dad and I will try and argue with you otherwise), or at the very least I’ve always struggled to be more rational than perhaps I really am.

Last night I finally got around to starting Dr. Panza’s book “Existentialism for Dummies.” Yeah yeah yeah it’s been on might nightstand forever and a day, it’s about time, etc.  Anyway, I picked it up with every intention of reading the first couple of chapters and starting a running commentary on my blog.  Instead, I shut the book after reading through chapter 2, flopped back on my bed and cried.

That’s right Dr. Panza, your book made me cry.

There was no real reason for my psychogenic lacrimation[1]. I wasn’t really saddened or upset by anything in the book, but I lacked any sort of real words to describe what was going on in my head (and maybe that’s the point).  It’s like all the little pieces on the Rubix cube were coming together, and I was one step closer to getting all of one color on the same side.  Suddenly experiences and conversations from the past few years slid into place.

Could it be that Lindsey, the causal determinism loving, positivism defending, modernist might actually enjoy a little free-will and even a little post-modernism? [2] What does this mean for my future? Am I capable of handling all this AND keeping my head intact?

Tune in next time when I try to do more than just cry.
That is, unless I run off into the desert to become a mystic. Which might, after all, be something I’d enjoy.

————–
[1] Words, though frustrating, can be fun!
[2] Matt will be all to happy to read that sentence.

Jedi Training: Episodes 16- Really? Are we done yet?

Today was officially our last day of  “Jedi Training”, so here’s my catch-up blog entry-

Day 16- Today we had to find something that made us laugh and do it repeatedly.  I looked at pictures of my hamster, because when he’s awake he’s pretty hilarious.

Day 17- “Think of something you want to do or need to do and do it today.” Um, okay.  Laundry? Yeah…sounds good.

Day 18-20- (it’s all down hill from here)- Make a to-do list. Write how you’re going to do the to-do list.  Do the to-do list.  Wait…did we already do this on days 10-12?

Day 21- Make it your goal to help someone.  Great.  I’m making it my goal to help out the Church of Jedism because some serious reforms are needed. We’re not done with you Jedism, not at all.

So, that’s it.  Matt and I are officially Apprentice Jedis. You can check out his version of the saga here.

He Died for Our Entertainment

I’m really starting to get excited about this paper for my Religion and the Body class. Rather than just stick with “The Passion of the Christ” (over done!) I’m branching out to do a survey of the crucifixion in several Jesus movies. I’m starting with a 1905 silent film, working my way through “The Greatest Story Ever Told,” “Jesus Christ Superstar” (duh.), “Jesus of Nazareth”, and a few others in addition to “The Passion.” I’m focusing primarily on Jesus’ body, how it is dressed, treated, abused, what it looks like…etc… It’s something I’ve never really paid attention to before, and it’s fascinating.

My argument right now is that over the years not only has the violence level of Jesus films increased, but Jesus has become more and more super-human. That’s not a theological argument, mind you, but rather just a look at the Jesus character. I mean let’s face it, Mel Gibson’s Jesus would have been dead from blood loss long before he ever carried the cross to Golgotha. But I also haven’t seen many of these movies in quite awhile (if ever) so I might change that working hypothesis.

Oh man, I’m totally nerding out. I apologize. Here… here’s a picture of a hamster for those of you who are bored with this entry already.
I tried to get Archie to help me with my homework. He decided to try and make a nest out of my wool sweater instead. He’s tricky like that.

The difficult thing about being a “Religious Studies” master’s student is that I’m not always sure I belong in “Religious Studies.” However, I think this is an issue for most people in Religious Studies departments. A lot of what we do, what we’re interested in, sort of spans disciplines. Some of us are interested in archaeology, sociology, psychology, history, literature, etc. But we all come together under the umbrella of “religious studies” because what we study has some aspect of “religion” in it… maybe.

So I ask myself: my paper is on film, and while it’s religious film, is it religion? Is what I’m doing film studies or is it religious studies? Do I belong in another department?

Perhaps it all comes down to the question of “what is religion really?”
I’ll get back to you on that one…

PS: Did you know Christian Bale once played Jesus? I don’t know that I’ll be watching “Mary, Mother of God” for my paper, but I just might for my own fascination. Is it possible he could rival Willem Dafoe as my favorite? Uh oh…

Jedi Training: Episodes..um…7-15

So as Matt pointed out just a moment ago in the GA office, I’ve been slacking on my Jedi training blogging.

So, rapid fire, here we go:

Day 7: Take one hour of your time to just totally relax in silence but think of something that makes you smile.
I read a chapter from my favorite book ever: Lamb. If you haven’t read it, you should. Heck, I’ll buy you a copy.

Day 8: Take a walk for 30 mins clear your head and mind and think of something that makes you smile.
Yeah, I failed.

Day 9: Tell some one you love, that you love them and do so in a meaningful way.
I love my Mommy. She’s awesome.

Day 10-12: The basic premise of these 3 days was to make a list of problems, write resolutions to those problems and enact the resolutions.
Matt and I had similar problems, mostly procrastination and school. Lucky Matt, he doesn’t have ex-boyfriends who make life miserable…but that’s all taken care of now. I think more than any thing we learned how good we are at making lists and fooling ourselves.

Day 13: Make friends with some one new.
Insert *awkward robot* here.

Day 14: Make it your goal not to have any conflict today think of something that makes you smile and keep out of any conflict or argument.
Check.

Day 15: Today try to just drink water from when you wake up till when you go to sleep.
This morning I dragged myself into the GA office contemplating going downstairs to get a cup of coffee. Notsomuch. I’ll survive, I’m sure. :-)

So, that’s it… our Jedi training up ’til now. Only a few more days until we can officially call ourselves “Apprentice Jedi.” I’m still looking for someone who wants to sponsor us for $7 so we can become Padawan. Any takers?

This is why I like going to Toys R Us with Tim, he opens boxes for me and takes pictures while I try on the “Star Wars Force Trainer!”

Signs that graduate school has fried your brain…

I just tried to use my TV remote control to turn the lights in my living room off.

Ow. Thinking hurts.

Jedi Training: Episodes 3,4,5 and 6

My computer is currently…um… indisposed, so I have been quite negligent in my Jedi blogging. My apologies.

First off, let me start this post by saying “I am, in fact, a cheater.” Our motto during my second summer at Tawakoni was “If you ain’t cheatin’ you ain’t tryin’ hard enough.” Having said that…

Day 3: Today try a new food.
This proved to be the most difficult part of Jedi training so far. My parents and any one who’s ever had the misfortune of dating me all know that I am BEYOND picky. I’ve tried pretty much every food that sounds good to me. So the idea of first of all, trying to find a new food in Springfield and then forcing myself to eat it, just didn’t seem like a pleasurable endeavor. I know, I know, I’m a hedonist. I know, I know, I’m picky and stuck in my ways. Thanks.

So what did I do? Ohhh I sort of cheated. Dr. Finch returned from Germany and brought back some wonderful Deustch schokolade for me. Yeah, I’ve had chocolate before but it was German chocolate! That counts…right? Damn.

Day 4: Make it your goal to shake some ones hand today.
Thanks to the swine flu, no one would touch me. I guess the training technically states “make it your goal” so I didn’t totally fail on this one.

Day 5: Give someone a compliment.
I never realized just how sarcastic I am 95% of the time in my interactions with other people. Sheesh Lindsey. Matt was gracious enough to allow me to use a compliment from the day before to count for this one. You should try giving out random compliments sometime, it’s honestly not easy.

(Speaking of Matt, you should definitely check out his blog. Both the Jedi training and the rest of what he writes are insightful and entertaining)

Day 6: Try to make some one laugh
On a normal day, this would not even make me bat an eye. I secretly delight in forcing customers into polite laughter on a daily basis at the Pier. However, I’m in a mood today. I believe Matt used the term “kill-joy.” Needless to say, this may prove a bit of a challenge. You should leave me your best stupid joke in the comments section so maybe I have a fighting chance at this one.

Jedi Training: Day 2

Yesterday was day two of the epic GA Jedi endeavor, and as part of the training Matt and I had to reveal something to someone that they didn’t already know about us. Sounds easy enough right?

I sat there racking my brain, trying to think of something to share. The best I could come up with?

Peas. I hate peas.

My parents are probably the only people who know just how much peas disgust me, so I shared that with the other GAs and my Facebook posse.

Immediately I second guessed myself.

Was that enough? Should I have dug down deeper and found something truly meaningful to confess? Do I actually have anything down deep I could confess? Am I really that boring of a person? Peas? PEAS? Gah. Could I think of anything more stupid to say out loud? Come on Lindsey! Fail.

Hmm. I’d better watch my attitude or I’m going to come out of this 21 days a Sith. ;-)

Do or Do Not, There is No Try

I have decided to become a Jedi.

No, really. It’s legit.

Today while looking for ways to make my Religion in America lecture more hip and happenin’ for the youngsters, I remembered an article that Tim showed me on Consumerist. As it turns out, the founder of the UK Jedi Church (Jedi name: Morda Hehol) has recently become the center of a religious discrimination outcry. I decided to add this story to my lecture, and then fellow graduate assistant Matt and I decided to take it one step further.

Currently, we’re in training to obtain the apprentice level of Jedidom (Jediship? Hrmm…). The training spans 21 days, each day there is a different goal to obtain. In order to make it work logistically, Matt and I will be doing our training on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays since that’s when we’re both in the office. We’ll also be posting the goals and our progress, day by day up on the wall above Matt’s desk. If you’re in the office you should stop by and check it out.

Today’s goal was to learn something new. While Matt went the route of opening the paper, I did a random search on Wikipedia and learned that Paul Pate is a former secretary of the state of Iowa. Pretty cool.

You should check out Matt’s blog for his perspective on our Jedi training, and just because he’s cool. You’re also welcome to join us if the Force moves you to do so.

May the Force be with you. Wish us luck!